"mind over body, body over soul"

Thursday, March 31, 2005

lalala.

im happy today!

for no reason.

-shamita
7:00 PM

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

ASHWANI

her taggy got some fcking prob so fck it.

why are u toking to me in ur tagboard?

im not lalaz or whatever.

i tag with my identity, incase u havent realized.

and yes, i am childish and immature.

we all know that.

and if ur not happy wif that.

stay away.

and so is that ur impression of me all along?

how come i never hear u saying that to me?

i clearly remember telling u why i didnt tell u it was me.

and infact, i told u once but u refuse to believe it.

i even apologised.

what more do u want man?

roses arh?

oh.

ur lies were great too. (:

shant waste time explaining over n over again.

anws.

after she left.

my studies fall apart too..

n its worse than 2 this time.

shall go slp now.

tiredd.

-shamita
9:03 PM

i slept from 5pm to 5am ystrdae.

hahah.

went to see the cute teacher in the morn.

shes so cute!

there were beetles around..

-shivers

then erm.

had this split personality session with nora.

and then with my friends also.

heh.

im gonna become crazy liddis.

seriously.

but i cannot stop larh..

juz look at her.

how perfect she is.

oh, i forgot.

that not everyone can see the xfactor i see.

hahah.

ok..

shall go do something else now huh..

me& you.

forever this way?

-shamita
9:18 AM

Saturday, March 26, 2005

juz came bk after watching ms congeniality.

it cracked me up big time.

even with the red eyes n sniffly nose.

i hafta move on.

i noe that.

i screamed it out.

i cried it out.

i scolded god.

i overdosed on panadols n panadol syrup.

i cut 6 z on my body.

i was in a daze for 4+ hrs.

and now, ive got bk on my feet.

when something reminds me of her,

tears sting my eyes.

but i remind myself.

shes never mine.

never.

it wasnt exactly the sweetest goodbye.

i was there but refused to say anything.

i was too hurt.

i juz hope i'll keep moving.

without looking bk at this horrible past.

and.

i love her for who she is.

even tho it means i cannot be 2gether wif her.

n i always will.

-shamita
10:22 PM

im in too much of pain to say how i feel.

its juz too much.

my millions of dreams shattering in less than a minute.

my eyes are stinging after all the tears.

my mouth is dry after all the screaming.

6 z on my body now.

and even after all this,

i only wanna say,

i love you.

-shamita
12:28 PM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

i tot this would happen one day.

and there.

ive so many things to ask.

but theres no answers.

how can u do it?

u noe i love u so much.

how can u?

do u noe i deleted u so dat i can 4get u.

and realized i couldnt.

and den.

drained.

-shamita
10:33 PM

i just cant believe it all.

the worlds so fcked up.

all my loved ones crying coz of dat blardie love.

shit.

lets kick love.

im so sick n tired.

whywhy?

i dnoe.

i feel lyk screaming my head off larh.

-shamita
9:15 AM

Thursday, March 17, 2005

i promise i'll be there for you when u need me.

i love you just the same.

the worlds different without you.

and.

can u imagine how i would be if i didnt know u?

i swear i cannot.

-shamita
12:25 AM

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

MR SIOW U STUPID BIASED COW.

UR SO BIASED.

CALL URSELF A TEACHER WHEN U DUN ALLOW UR STUDENTS TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

STUPID COW.

FUCKSHIT MAN.

I HATE U SIOW.

GET UR PUNY ASS OUTTA MY LIFE.

if only you were still here for me to tell you.

-shamita
8:49 PM

Monday, March 14, 2005

HAHAH.

U NOE WHAT.

MY CLASS IS AT 9AM.

AND I CAME TO SCH AT 7AM.

actually, i dnoe wats wrong with me.

i tink i juz wanna be alone.

away frm pple.

hehs.

i clinged on to you for support,

coz i noe i cannot live without you.

you guided me thru thick and thin,

and thats why theres a change in me.

now that the support isnt there,

im completely lost.

i cant find a place for myself in this world.

therefore,

i live in my own world.

with an imaginery you.

and its so sad,

bcoz i cannot come out of my dream world.

the only ways are time,

and my imaginery you becoming true.

i love you.

-shamita
7:34 AM

Sunday, March 13, 2005

im missing you..

soso much.

what did i do 4 things to turn out dis way?

i dnoe wat to do now.

the changes she made are still there.

but she isnt.

hehs.

and that silent goodbye;

-shamita
8:47 PM

Thursday, March 10, 2005

OH MY BLOODY FUCK.

SHERVON YAK.

UR NUTS.

she flashed my desktop wallpaper infront of the whole class.

andand.

my wallpaper had a pic n my dear all dat stuff.

SO BLARDIE EMBARRASSING.

NAND U NOE WHAT.

MY ART STORYBOARD GOT LOST.

so now i hafta redo 2 artm project by 2moro 11am.

wat crap.

-shamita
11:50 AM

all the bad things always happen to me.

LIKE MY ART GETS DELETED.

N WORSE, BY MY FRIENDS.

i noe it wasnt deliberate.

BUT ITS STILL MINE WHAT.

IM THE ONE GETTING ZERO WHAT.

ITS MY HARD WORK WHAT.

FUCKSHIT MAN.

y issit always me?

ive been working so hard the whole week.

lyk the maths retest.

hmtl wb.

THE WHOLE WB.

cme retest.

art projects.

blahblahblah.

it never ends.

n wat if i went 4 cca?

can u imagine?

N WORST.

I DNOE WHY IM BLAMING MYSELF.

IT HASTA BE MY FAULT.

I DIDNT GO SEE HER.

BUT THE POINT IS,

I DIDNT KNOW.

BUT STILL.

IT IS MY FAULT.

and how many days has it been since we tok?

im nothing 2 her.

infact, toking to me mite be frustrating 4 her.

but the truth is,

she means the world to me.

cant wait to tok to sharon goh.

HAIZ.

juz awhile more.

-shamita
8:47 AM

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

i'll hafta talk to her one day.

i wanna tell her many things..

im juz afraid..

the fear is coming back..

everything is.

the feelings never went away;

it was an imagination in my heart.

-shamita
10:29 PM

oh fck.

sci is juz so gross.

-pukes

we learned abt abortion 2dae.

its so sad can.

i got stomach ache oreadi.

esp the insertion of knife to cut the foetus.

but honestly.

if i was pregnant at dis age,[no way]

i'd abort the baby rather dan giving it 4 adoption.

coz still hafta give birth.

which is like ermm.

no comments.

anw.

i got lots of work 2 do.

ystrdae was hilarious.

i smsed her wrongly.

its lyk wth fck.

hahah.

i shall go do my work now.

tataz.

-shamita
9:02 AM

Sunday, March 06, 2005

ystrdae was cousins burfdae party.

open dancefloor.

i dance and dance non stop frm lyk 5-11.

my goodness.

muscles aching.

but it was fun.

enjoyed myself.

there was dis so cute gurl dere.

very cute!!

den ever since she came,

we keep looking at each other.

shes 13.

n not in crescent.

short hair, fair and.. chio.

hahah.

took pics wif her.

she pose so farnie.

egoistic.

hahs.

dance wif her also.

den she went bk.

sad.. ):

den 2dae, i went shopping.

and i saw her!

hahah.

funny.

wanted to buy billabong bag.

but the op bag was nicer.

so bought the bag.

n op shorts.

bought some other stuff too.

parent-teacher meeting was nuts.

that idiot siow.

complain so much abt me.

until my mum say i cannot sit wif fluffy nemore.

but she doesnt wanna change seats.

i wonder why..

i bully her so much n she still wanna sit wif me.

coz my lameness so fun. (;

we're gonna beg 2 siow.

haiz..

hmm..

i dnoe howta say what i wanna say..

hard really..

im sure there'll be a day when i can say ur name,

and be happy, with no worries.

happy to have loved someone like you.

-shamita
8:55 PM

Thursday, March 03, 2005

its probably the first burfdae im crying.

coz i was juz reading our previous conversations.

how nice she is arh..

coz i couldnt say goodbye to you;

-shamita
12:04 AM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

i got 31 over 40 fer sci kay!

thanx 2 her!

n NOT YOU FLUFFY!

hahs.

ok so i got bk lit, hmtl, sci.

i hit my targets kay!

the changes u made to my life;

hmm.

2moro i wanna c her..

i keep asking pple 4 pwezzie dat is priceless.

n dey all cannot get it fer me.. ):

2moro getting bk maths..

tskk.

so unlucky.

get MATHS bk on my burfdae.

grr.

i'll be happy if i pass..

but i dun tink i will. :/

sue spoke to me juz now..

shes so nice pls.

im not guilty.

i was standing up 4 myself.

-gasps

me standing up 4 myself..

issit the first time?

i hafta say something.

~~maybe i do love someone other than her.~~

~~but i refuse to accept it.~~

~~i feel so secure in her arms n all..~~

but i noe shes not da right gal to love..

NO.

I ONLY LOVE MY PERFECTIONIST.

-shamita
10:21 PM

so this is what happens.

when u listen to ur frens.

n not be ur own self.

ur own scared self.

hehs.

shant listen to any1 nxt time.

uhm.

my fault anw.

-sigh

i dnoe what im doing n thinking nowadays.

its all so weird.

and wrong.

-shamita
7:04 AM