"mind over body, body over soul"

Sunday, January 30, 2005

tskk.

i miss her terribly..

ohh.

i actually tried doing maths.

but i dnoe howta do.

and my mom thinks i cannot study coz of np.

hahah.

im laughing so hard.

she wants me 2 quit..

shes lyk.

im gonna tok 2 leebeeyann.

lalalala.

nagging the whole day.

btw.

i got dengue fever..

[i wish]

lol.

weekend ends really fast..

-cries

5 more days of hard work.

n tears..

b4 i smile again..

i 4got t mention it.

i went 4 some course tt day..

den da barton guy made us do some relaxation thingy.

it really works i tell u.

he made us imagine things..

n it was all so real..

he ask us to imagine dat we are wif some1.

in a place we love.

dis is wat i imagined:

in paris wif [her].

den she kiss me.

it was so true..

dat when i came back to the real world.

i had tears in my eyes.

hahah.

my mom is nagging..

tskk.

old pple arh.

i miss her alot larh..

i badly wanna c her..

-sighs

i'll go study den..

im a GOOD GURL.

did i mention?

my entire family is eager to see [her].

-LOL

except my mom dat is.

coz shes jealous dat i love [her] more dan i love my mom.

thats just the way it is.

-shamita
8:03 PM

i love [her].

-smiles

-shamita
1:45 PM

good girl finished her geog!

-gasps

shes trying to finish up her other hw too.

-shocked

her prince/princess saved her..

-claps

good girl wants t be dis way..

but she noes it wont last..

when she tinks its 2 much,

hell breakes loose.

will her prince/princess be dere 4 her?

will she save her frm the nothing shes become?

will she?

good gurl loves her prince..

-shamita
9:53 AM

Saturday, January 29, 2005

its nice to noe dat u care.
im smiling alot larh.
hahah.
oh.
big surprise.
im doing my HOMEWORK.
after so long.
coz she ask me t do.
act, i dnoe how t do.
hahah.
i dun even noe sec1 work btw.
n she said im a smart gurl.
HAHAHAHAH.
i'll be a gd gurl.
i'll try larh.
shamita - good gurl
hoho.
i love u more each day;
wont u love me dat way too?

-shamita
7:54 PM

this isnt meant for [her].

all the feelings that i tot were gone,

came rushing back to me at once.

-shamita
7:10 PM

feeling much better 2dae..

told u i needed some slp.

i slept fer 13.5 hrs.

damn tired canx?

woke up coz madhumita called my hp.

it vibrated below my body.

hoho.

smsed **.

haiz.

very sad lorh.

i hate mrs wong.

-pukes

shes bad.

** cried on da fone ystrdae.

i dun understand.

i cried when she cried eh.

it hurts alot when i noe shes unhappy.

ohh.

i finally got the bikini i wanted!!

-claps

thanx auntie..

lurve ya! (:

she hasnt replied me yet..

sad..

wipe off ur tears.

i tink its time to move on.

without her.

can i do it?

-shamita
7:02 PM

Friday, January 28, 2005

im falling forever..

-shamita
11:36 AM

Thursday, January 27, 2005

i dnoe why.

my studies is lyk..gone.

n im rotting online.

i dnoe wats wrong wimme.

pon so many things..

i feel bad doing it..

sch, cca, xtra lessons etcetc.

evrything is getting t me.

n im building hopes..

dat i'll be seeing her soon..

i miss her alott.

shud haf listened 2 yuani..

shud have gone 2 search 4 her..

i dnoe..

n seeing ** dis way..

tskk..

i dun understand..

y doesnt she love us?

atleast i tink the other one cares.

tts y i lyk her..

doesnt she care a single bit??

frankly.

when im not happy.

i juz HATE seeing her face.

it makes evrything worse dan it is.

tskk.

EVERYTHING IS JUZ SO FUCKED UP.

-shamita
8:15 PM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

stop being a bitch.

-shamita
9:06 PM

Monday, January 24, 2005

SIGH.

im exhausted.

cried during home econs.

lyk wth.

had traffic duty.

-.-

failed maths test.

havent told my parents.

i dun even noe dere was lit test 2dae.

haizz.

hmt later till 03 3o.

den hafta run off 4 np.

dis sch is nuts.

ive given up.

i dun wanna go 4 nething.

i wanna rot inside my closet.

take me away.

-shamita
11:42 AM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

i got nothing to say larh.

juz dat i miss her?

n i havent done any hw?

i dun really care.

infact.

i dun wanna go 2 sch.

wat t do.

hafta go de.

why isnt she lyk online?

-shamita
8:13 PM

Saturday, January 22, 2005

you can say anything you want;
you can hurt me a million times;
i'll still be here loving you.

-shamita
5:06 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005

LET ME END MY LIFE NOW.

RIGHT AWAY.

theres nothing left to say.

stop these fuckshit tears.

-shamita
11:42 PM

i got new moo cha bear!!

named it after [her].

missing her loads..

i joined the stone society!!

lol.

named my stone after [her] too.

i dnoe wats wrong wimme larh.

keep telling suhanthi 'ilu'.

i do love her but in a diff way.

tskk.

went clinic ystrdae.

i got so mucha medicines 2 take.

so wat if got no panadols huh.

i wont do it larh.

dun wanna make frnacesca angry again.

-smiles (:

argh.

im missing her alott.

ystrdae was so farnie.

ms woon called my hp.

she said shes "ms woon"

i heard it as "ms goon"

HAHAH.

i tot it was ms goon lorh.

den i found out it was her.

tskk.

call me larh ms goon.

ohh.

on tuesday i got np n cip.

which one to go?

both very impt lorh.

shall ask mr siow.

tell me the reason for these tears.

-shamita
5:35 PM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

i will stop it.

juz for you.

tskk.

i miss her alot larh.

i cant stand dis world i tell u.

argh.

oh.

i hug ms lim! (:

my eyecandy!!

-smiles

-shamita
8:49 PM

come back larh.

tskk.

-shamita
9:51 AM

Monday, January 17, 2005

on jan 17 2004, which is 2dae.

she tied my shoelace.

n frm den on.

ive neva stopped loving [her].

i din even get 2 say hello 2 her.

haizz..

i love u kays?

n im missing u so much.

anw.

happy burfdae yuani!

love ya..

-shamita
9:13 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

evrythings lyk upside down now.

i should have known better.

it was too good to be true.

why did i go ystrdae?

i wanna run away frm myself.

i love [her] so much.

HELP.

-shamita
1:56 PM

Friday, January 14, 2005

i am very tiredd...

my mom saw me crying..

coz im lyk.

super stressed.

haizz..

but im still going 4 **.

why?

coz i love u.

almost evry1 is asking me 2 quit.

i cannot concentrate in sch.

coz im too tired.

i hafta stay back lyk.

evryday?!!

argh.

im gonna sleep when i get home.

n never wake up.

ystrday, when we were being punished,

i tot to myself.

y am i doing this?

juz bcoz [she] said it.

i didnt listen to my parents n best friends.

but i listened to [her].

for her, im enduring it all.

juz for [her].

coz baby, i loved you from the start.

not really START.

but its been a year.

-shamita
1:10 PM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

i forgot to say something.

that ms goon is REALLY nice.

finally spoke 2 her.

n my face was burning.

gosh. ((:

im for [you].

it never changes.

i miss u so much.

-shamita
1:25 PM

i feel lyk pulling out my hair.

i hafta stay back evryday?!

im so tired canx?

dey force me to go 2 sch WHEN IM SICK.

ARGH.

and maths test 2moro.

i noe im gonna fail.

wat t do.

i cant concentrate.

i wish [she] was here..

im gonna go to **** frm 2moro..

FUCK IT.

-shamita
11:46 AM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

ive never loved anyone the way i love [you].

think str8 shamita.

juz try at least.

-shamita
2:09 PM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

too happy to sleep.

i believe.

i believe in her.

i wont doubt if its fake.

i'll believe.

-shamita
10:53 PM

ive never been happier dan 2day.

i love [her] soo much.

dun let dis day end.

i juz hope it lasts.

n dat its true.

pls God.

let it be true.

i wont be able t take it if it was fake.

-shamita
8:58 PM

to francesca:

sharp is ur memory.

sweet is ur name.

deep in my heart,

u'll always remain.

earth wants water.

flower wants dew.

i want nothing.

but a sister like u.

-shamita
5:12 PM

where do i start?

went t campfire ystrday.

saw [her].

was overjoyed at first.

den cried.

i dnoe wats wrong wimme larh.

cry n cry n cry.

all by myself.

inside the toilet.

den went out.

looked 4 yuani.

hugged her n cried again.

thanx yuani.

thanx 4 being dere 4 me.

u are so nice.

den.. went bk 2 1c1.

tok 2 dem..

francesca said she was coming.

was so happie.

went t c her.

i cried so much.

coz i didnt wan her 2 go.

i need her.

haizz.

promised her i'll try my best.

not to do nething foolish.

i regret doing it.

tskk.

den went bk 2 1c1 again.

sat wif dem at 1st.

wasnt really watching the show.

went wif jolene t c [her].

she comforted me.

thanx jolene.

saw dinie..

spoke 2 her..

miss her loads.

we sat behind [her].

gosh.

den sat wif jolene, nifong, kavitha, jessleen n tanya.

didnt cheer much.

me n ni fong went in search of [her].

den saw suhanthi..

i hugged her!!

3 times!!

hahah.

she looked reallie nice ystrday.

ashwini, dun b jealous ok.

den juz sat n watched her.

n cried.

hugged jo after campfire.

didnt really talk.

2dae.

ive been doing nothing.

but torturing myself.

refused 2 come out frm blankie 1st.

den stood in the rain.

n sat inside the cupboard.

but when i read francesca's sms.

i came out.

wiped my tears.

n now, i dnoe wat t do.

juz wat do i want frm [her]?

her love?

her friendship?

her?

WHAT?

i juz cant let go.

its my fault.

im not gd enuff her.

frankly.

i cannot concentrate in sch.

ive been copying evrything.

nothings right.

i feel lyk.

lyk im being torn apart.

haizz.

n i cant do nething t myself.

i dun wan francesca t be upset.

juz 4 u francesca.

i love u loads sister.

im losing my mind.

-shamita
4:49 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

omg. fancy crying on the first day of sch.

shoots man.

i wish i hadnt gone bk t sch.

this year has been terrible.

tskk. wth.

i cannot belief it.

i cried even b4 sch started.

guess i needed it.

coz i dnoe howta draw a line

between personal life n ** life wat.

haizz..

wat do i do now?

-shamita
9:20 PM